2 Presents

Yesterday was the completion of Laurie Handlers’ Sex Magic workshop. What a ride!

I won’t go into too much detail because it’s just something to be experienced, but I will say that the message I got from it was to let go, be present, and ask for what I want.

During one of the chaotic meditations I realized that when I get into my head, I lose my way. To be in the flow of life I need to relax and allow, to trust and receive, to get out of my head and into my body. When I think too much, it pulls me away from the present moment.

Amid another chaotic meditation, I found myself distracted by my partner who, from my perspective, wasn’t following what we were supposed to be doing, but instead of trying to control the situation and fit into this box of what I thought we were “supposed” to do, I let go, allowed him to flow, and joined him in doing what felt good for us. It made the meditation that much more enjoyable, and I felt deeply connected to him from riding the wave and being in the flow together.

Looking back now, I am realizing that even thinking about the instructions given as to what I “should” have been doing during the meditation, isn’t being present. Taking in what was instructed as a guideline, but being in the flow, connected to my partner, and present to the experience and what feels right for me in any given moment, that’s where the lesson is. That’s where my power is. My power is not in the rules and guidelines, but in my ability to feel free to express myself and actualize my own desires. To ask for and act on what I want because what I want matters. I hold the power to create my reality. To paint my picture how I want it to be painted.

At the end of the last day of class we did a Puja to honour and worship the gods in being the rock that holds space for all aspects of a woman’s extensive personality. My partner shut down a bit which made this exercise difficult for me to get into. However, I did learn something when I was representing Kali (Goddess of Destruction). As I was lecturing my partner on being present, at the same time I was realizing it was just a reflection on my own lack of presence within myself.

5 things that describe my Love now:

-present

-aware

-courageous

-open

-persevering

Our presence is a gift to ourselves and to the people we interact with.

Herein lies the present…

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