My plane landed late last night in Phoenix, Arizona and I was greeted by Sprout and Laurie at the airport. Laurie took us to the house down the street from hers where we are staying for the weekend.
We had a good sleep and awoke this morning to head to her house for the Bliss workshop. What a great experience! I went into it feeling slight tension throughout my body and left feeling free, open, and blissful.
5 things that describe my Love now:
The most profound moment for me was during the emotional release exercise, which is when I seem to have the biggest realizations. The message came to me that nothing matters, but ME. I am the most important person/thing in my life.
In the past I have given a lot of myself to others, whether it has been doing things for them physically, supporting them emotionally, or simply just offering my time and attention when needed, regardless of whether or not it’s something I want to do in that given moment. In doing so, I often find myself taking on other people’s emotions or problems as my own, having not taken the time or space to feel grounded and centered before offering myself to them. So today I decided that I am going to put myself first. To only help others when I have taken time for myself and when I feel that I am really truly able to listen and observe other people’s problems and emotions without taking them on myself. In setting those boundaries I feel I am able to offer the best version of myself to those who need my love and support.
To relate this to how I was feeling in Vernon, while I was spending time with my family, I was feeling really drained by all the emotions floating around. I understand that the emotions weren’t intentional and that they wanted to spend time with me since I will be away for so long, and I’m glad I spent a bit of time with them before I left, but I had just spent a lot of energy getting ready to leave Vancouver and I didn’t fully express my desire to just relax and spend some time alone in fear of hurting them. However, if I had just communicated my desires, fears, and boundaries, and taken a whole day to just relax and be alone, I would have been in much better shape to be able to give more of myself to them and the time we spent together would have been of higher quality.
Lesson extracted. Now moving forward.
Continuing to push my boundaries and follow my Bliss…